Empty Nest -- Transition or Syndrome?
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2007
by Ellen Neiley Ritter, Ph.D.
Family Transitions Coaching
When is Empty Nest more than a very difficult transition
that one has to get through and when is it a "syndrome" and one
should consider going to a doctor for a consultation about depression?
As a time of transition, Empty Nest often is filled with a
sense of loss – not only a loss of a child as they head off to pursue their new
life, but also a strong sense of loss of your self as your role in life changes.
You've always known that this day would come, and even though you are happy
that your child is succeeding, this time of transition is difficult. Know that
feelings of grief, sadness and emptiness are totally normal during this
transition. So are the questions and anxiety of not knowing what the future
will bring. While the early days of an Empty Nest Transition may seem bleak,
there is a sense that ultimately you will be able to overcome, to cope with
this change, and move forward. The support of friends and family, working with
a coach, and trying to find some of the benefits of this new change in your
life can help to ease this transition. It may not seem so at first but, by
focusing on the positive aspects of your life, getting in touch with your
dreams and interests, individuals experiencing Empty Nest Transition can and do
get through this difficult period.
When does it become more? How do you know if you're
suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" and should seek help from a
doctor? For some, the questions, self-doubt, and concerns about the future
become overwhelming. They become unable to see beyond the sadness, unable to
feel as though there is any way they can get through this period. One of the
more prominent features of depression is a preoccupation with negative thoughts,
feeling and perceptions. There is a strong and prevailing sense of hopelessness
and helplessness that does not go away and the sadness completely clouds any
light or hope in the future.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (
1.
A significant weight gain or weight loss or a decrease
or increase in your appetite
2.
Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping
much more than usual
3.
Noticeable changes in how you walk and talk—you may
appear restless or move very slowly
4.
Extreme fatigue or loss of energy
5.
Feeling worthless or having inappropriate guilt
6.
Difficulty thinking, concentrating, remembering,
or making decisions
7.
Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
If you
think you are suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome, you should consult with your
doctor to see whether medication might be advisable to help you move forward. Since
antidepressants alone are only effective in about 50% of all individuals
suffering from depression, you may want to consider also participating in some
sort of counseling or coaching to help you get beyond the overwhelming negative
thought patterns associated with depression and to begin to embrace this new
phase in your life.
Remember,
there is light at the end of the tunnel and help is available so you can come
through the Empty Nest and flourish.
American Psychiatric
Association, (1994). Diagnostic and
statistical manual of mental disorders, Fourth Edition.
As the coach for Empty Nest Moms, Ellen Neiley
Ritter, Ph.D. is committed to helping individuals and families to deal with
difficult transitions. Ellen works with her clients to increase their
resilience, combat the negative thinking, and create lives filled with purpose
and happiness. To learn more about coaching or sign up for a complimentary
coaching session, please visit Ellen's website at www.familytransitionscoaching.com
.
Yes. I have been really depressed since my children moved away and this helped me better understand Empty Nest.